Everyone in the house but me is hemorrhaging out both ends. Our Casa is thick with a sulfurous cloud that clings to everything. The crew is listless. Intake of rum has dropped dramatically, and consequently morale is low. So I escape for a solitary walk down the beach, fishing line in hand. Alas, only the pelicans are pulling fish. As I trudge back to our reeking hovel, I step on a goddamn stingray. Yep, that fucking stings! Aptly named little bastards. On a side note, this particular episode once and for all disproves the notion of karma. You see, I had not but two days previous rescued a fucking stingray from certain death. It had been stranded by an exceptionally big wave that washed it far ashore and it was gasping its nasty little life away. I watched it for a minute wondering what to do. Do I intervene? Do I try and help it? Will it sting me If I try? I answered yes on all accounts, and carefully helped the nasty little fucker back into the water by flipping it several times like a frisbee. As an aside within a rather long aside, stingrays fly very much like a frisbee, being flat and all. Anyway, I tossed this bitch twice more till it made it back into the ocean, and it swam away, no doubt thankful for my intervention in its miserable bottom dwelling existence. So what happens today? I get fucking stung by a goddamed stingray! Probably the same one! Well, I got the point...from here on out its all about me. I ain't helping beast nor fowl nor fish. I'm looking out for Numero Uno. And, I'm gonna offer up a stingray sacrifice to appease the Gods, who are clearly angry. They turned the ocean cold for a day, and afflicted my mates with poopy pants, and they sent a vicious beast of the sea to attack my foot. I will find something to kill tonight!

Anyway.... our amigo Henry rode his horse to work today, and he insisted I take it down the road. So I did. He snapped this photo, which I think clearly depicts the delirium of the last couple days. I think it is a very old and tired horse. It might make a good sacrifice. I will ask Henry.

Tortuga chronicle

See these slimy little bastards? This is a clutch of turtle eggs freshly delivered via a long turtle tube attached to one tired mother turtle. We watched her claw her way onto the beach and slowly drag herself up above the tide line. She then dug a deep hole using only her rear flippers. Pretty neat to watch. Finally, the aforementioned turtle tube comes out and these eggs pop out two at a time.....upwards of 150 eggs. Lastly, one lucky Nicaraguan gathers up all the eggs and makes omelets and soup. Seriously. This particular turtle had the misfortune of choosing a non-protected beach to lay her eggs. She was quickly spotted and 'claimed' by a couple young Nicos, who were patiently waiting for her to finish. The beaches can get a little dicey at night with Nicos skulking around looking to rob turtles or gringos. You can't spell "endangered" without "danger", and I wasn't about to deprive these enterprising fellows their payday. Better the turtle get robbed than me, right? These dudes were pretty friendly, but there was never any doubt about the future of these particular eggs. Their empty shoulder bags and lotto-winner smiles transcended the language barrier; Winner winner turtle dinner!