Is that a candle sticking out of your ass?

Wow, what a night. After swimming all day, we decided to go for a small booze cruise to the south of our new homestead. Such a fine idea. We stocked up with rums and juices, for the 3km tour, and after perhaps 100m, we came across a solemn moment, a dead pig in the middle of the road, surrounded by mourners. In reality, they were probably trying to figure out how they were going cook and savour such a wonderful blessing! As we continued we came across a pile of monkeys chillin', and to the best of my ability I could not summon them to rise up and join us on said booze cruise! Silly monkeys. We eventually made it to this town where the roads were unfinished, and setting out on foot I searched for beer, 3 beer. Now, my spanish is limited, and under pressure, is non-existent. Alas I spoke the word cervesa and was given the 'Si'. This is where I neglected to speak my limited spanish and busted out with french and italian, the latter I don't even know, other than 'belisimo'! Thankfully we got the beer, turned around, and headed back home for a fine dinner at a local restaurant, which by the way, if you ever come to this neck of the woods, they will take you for all you've got! Long live Flor de Cana!

Sandy vs Farrah

Farrah always looked sweet, but there's just something about the way she wraps around my beer and keeps it cool....

Check the shifty look in Sandy's eyes; she's like a lioness on the prowl! Don't laugh, she will drink you under any table, anywhere, any time! This is at a bar the morning before we left in Cocoa Beach, Florida.

Playa de la Coc0

So, we made it safe and sound to our beach after a couple of hours of driving from Managua. It was quite surreal driving our own car through the country side. All modes of transportation were seen, from thousands of bicycles, donkey drawn carts, funky buses and the national rig, Toyota, which is very good for jihad. We passed one active volcano, on an island in Lago Nicaragua. Our casa is 30 minutes down a goat path, which we carefully negotiated in our rental Kia. Definitely need to upgrade to a 4X4. Our beach is empty....seriously, a fucking ghost town. Picture endless white sand bays encased by rocky outcroppings filled with big fronded trees and cacti. Add in one salty local Nica fishing with a handline, and there you have it; Not another fucking soul. Apparently all the Gringos stay in San Juan Del Sur. We snorkled in the cays today. Not much to see, as it is the Pacific side. Still, fun as hell. Now, RUM!

Since there is no snow in Jackson Hole, and conditions are that of a death sentence, a few of us winners have decided to go to Nicaragua. Plans include much surfing, much sampling of the finest rums, enjoying the local bush meat and doing our best not to end up in jail or being sold on the black market! In the meantime, enjoy this fine animation on our favorite subject; fucking paramarkers.